Painful Love
by Elzbun
Summary: The love between America and England through out the ages. Human names used. First Hetalia fanfiction, please read! x
1. Something Wonderful

It was a warm summer day, the sun was shining high and warm in the sky, and there wasn't a cloud in sight. It was a hot day, but there was a cool breeze that tickled in the air.

In National village, there lived a large house on the outskirts of the village. The house stood on its own, far away from the other houses. Behind this house, lay a green field, laden with flowers of all colour and variety. In the midst of that rainbow of colour, lay a large tree, its trunk was tall and large, the branches stretched out far enough to make a large shadow under the tree.

Under the tree, sat a young man. He wore a white shirt with long sleeves, with a dark red waist coat and light brown trousers. He had sandy blond hair that was straight and shaggy; he had unusually bushy eye brows, and eyes like emeralds.

He was sitting quietly, hands folded over one another on his lap, his eyes closed so that it looked like he was sleeping. His chest was moving gently up and down with his breath. He looked so peaceful sitting there.

There was a rustling noise from behind the tree, yet the young man did not stir from his sleep. From the bushes behind the tree, emerged and small child. He looked about ten years old. He wore a white short sleeved shirt, and dark shorts with braces going to his shoulders. He had golden hair with a cute little flick of hair on the top of his head. His eyes were a bright blue, the same colour as the sky.

As he came out of the bushes, he stopped and looked around, he then caught a glimpse of the young man around the tree. The child grinned mischievously and tip toed to peer around the tree at the young man. The child bent down slowly and crawled around the tree and sat quietly next too the young man.

The child's smiled faded, as he clasped his hands together. He stared at the young man's face, and expression of pure concentration on it. The child's eyes showed, pure innocence, as he stared up at the young man's face lovingly. He had completely forgotten his previous plan for the prank, and was now staring at the young man with concern.

The young man looked….sad. Something about his expression was just, sad, and lonely. As the child watched, he saw a single tear roll down the young man's cheek.

The child's brow pulled together in a slight frown. He then leaned in, and gently wiped the tear from the man's cheek, and then kissed his cheek.

"Don't cry…" On that warm summers day, something wonderful had started.


	2. You don't understand anything

In a large house, on the far side of National Village, there was a boy. The boy was the only resident of that house. He lived along, a mere child. But right now, he was not along. From outside the house, Laughter could be heard.

"Ah! That tickles! Stop it Arthur-sama!" Squealed the golden haired boy. The boy was on a young mans lap, who was tickling the child, wriggling, poking and pinching in different placed to send the boy into a frenzy of laughter.

"Oh, but your laughing! It can't be that bad, can it?" The young man cooed with a grin. The young man was Arthur, or was formerly known as England.

"No!" Laughed the child who tried to pull away from the man. The child was called Alfred, of known as America. England had taken America in as his little brother after finding him in the wilderness.

The too of them were so close, as if they really were brothers. England and America loved each other with all of their heart. It was a beautiful relationship.

Arthur sighed with a smiled, and stopped tickling Alfred. Alfred looked up at Arthur with a questioning look. Arthur patted the boy on the head.

"I'm tired, are you?" he smiled. Arthur yawned, and nodded with a smile.

"Okay." Arthur stood up. "Well, I'm going to go take a nap on the bed upstairs." He said sleepily.

"Can I sleep there too?" Alfred asked, his big blue eyes pleading. Arthur smiled gently.

"Sure. Come on." Alfred jumped of the sofa to catch up with Arthur who was heading towards the sofa.

"Hey, you know what?" Alfred asked happily as he latched on to Arthurs hand as the walked up the stairs.

"What?"

"I wish we can sleep together always!" beamed Alfred happily. Arthur didn't smile, he just stared down at the happy boy with his deep green eyes. The child was…so innocent. And so naïve.

"Yes." Arthur smiled gently.

"And it will always make us happy!" Alfred carried on eagerly. "Whenever one of us is sad of upset we just both go and sleep, then when we wake up we're happy!" Alfred gave a little sound of joy at his new founded plan and ran up the stairs ahead of Arthur.

Arthur smiled slightly as the boy raced as fast as he could up the long flight of stairs. Alfred stopped at the top of the stairs, slightly out of breath. He grinned down at Arthur and waved. Arthur smiled and waved back.

When they both got to the bedroom, they clambered onto the big bed Arthur lay back on big a big pillow, his shoes off, and sighed into the pillow. Alfred clambered over to his and rested his head on the pillow next to Arthur.

Arthur smiled as his eyes started to close. Alfred lay there, sleepily smiling.

"And you know, we'll always be there for each other…" Mumbled Alfred sleepily. "we'll never make each other cry…." And with that, the child was asleep.

But Arthur wasn't yet; he'd stayed awake just long enough to hear that. He fell asleep with a heavy weight on his chest.

Alfred was the first to wake up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, his hair all tousled. He yawned and stretched his arms in the air. He _did_ feel happier. He couldn't wait to tell Arthur that his theory works! He turned to tell the man, to see that he was still asleep.

There it was. That face that he saw in the field a few weeks back.

Arthur wore an expression of sadness, and tears were slowly rolling down his cheeks.

Alfred smile faded. he slowly crawled over to sit by Arthur. The boy reached and whipped away the tears with his small hand. Arthur was a heavy sleeper, so he wouldn't wake up.

Once Alfred had wiped Arthurs tears, he sat back and stared at his only family.

Why was Arthur crying? Was he sad? He never seemed sad…Maybe…he's remembering something sad. Arthur never really talks about his past, so he didn't know what kind of sad things must have happened. he didn't even know if Arthur had any family.

They were both alone. So maybe that's why they were together. Maybe it was some kind of fate pulling them together, since they were both alone, they should be together, to complete one another.

Alfred stared at Arthurs face, making sure no more tears came out.

He loved Arthur, he loved him so much sometimes he felt like his heart woul burst. But lately…its been different. He felt extra sensitive when Arthur touched him. When Arthur teased him, he would blush. And whenever Arthur came to visit, the idea of him coming to see him made him so happy he didn't know if he could take it. But also….he felt, strange, when Arthur wasn't here and he was alone. He…well…he was old enough to know what it was and what it was used more, but why did he react this way when he thought of Arthur?

Arthur shed one more tear, which made Alfred snap out of his thought. He bent, and kissed Arthurs eye, just like he had done in the field. He pulled back only to realize that he enjoyed that and that he wanted to do it again. But not on his eye.

Alfred stared at Arthurs lips. They were slightly open and were wet. Alfred licked his own lips. He bent over Arthur and slowly bent. When their lips met, Alfred felt a surge of happiness. This was….awesome. it was just a little peck, but so, it was nice.

Alfred drew away and turn away from Arthur, blushing furiously, so he put his face in his hands.

"Alfred," The boy nearly jumped off the bed in surprise. "What did you just do…?" Arthur asked in a soft voice. Alfred turned around, a guilty look on his face.

"Well…uh…I…I don't…" The boy mumbled, his face bright red and his gaze down.

"You…kissed me."

"Yes! And I'm really sorry about it!" Alfred said quickly. Arthur stared at the young boy. He was getting to that age. It's no surprise that he just wanted to try it with someone he knew. It would pass.

"Did you enjoy it?" Arthur asked softly with a little smile. Alfred looked up to meet Arthurs gaze, which only made him blush more.

"Uh..yeah…" he said guiltily.

"Good." Arthur said, and slid to the side of the bed. "but there will be no more kissing while I'm asleep, or any at all, you understand?" Arthur asked sternly.

"Yes…" Alfred said, looking at his hands ashamed. Arthur sighed and the sight. He placed his hand on the back of the boys head and pulled his forehead forward where he kissed him gently on the forehead.

"You….are too young." Arthur said emotionlessly. Alfred didn't like being called young. He was old enough! He wasn't a baby!

"Nu-uh! I'm not _that_ young!" Protested Alfred with a pout. Arthur suddenly laughed, a light happy noise coming from his heart. He patted Alfred on the head gently.

He bent down and cupped the boys face gently. He pressed his lips to Alfred's gently.

The boy bounced backwards, and expression of pure shock and embarrassment on his face.

"W-what was that!" Alfred stuttered. Arthur smiled gently.

"See? Too young."

"Fine!" Alfred declared. "But when I'm older! I'll become bigger! Then you'll see! I'm not too young!" He said, slightly angry. Arthur just laughed.

"Alright, we'll see." He chuckled and headed downstairs. Alfred raced down after him.

"Your leaving already?" He whined.

"Yes. I will be here again, but not for some time. You know that I'm busy with a lot of work."

"Yeah I know…." The child pouted, looking at him feet. Arthur bent down and opened his arms.

"Come here." he said gently. The boy leapt into his arms and wrapped himself around Arthur tightly. Alfred buried his face into the older man's shoulder, tears falling from his eyes.

"When I'm older," he murmured, "I'll never make you cry." Arthur froze at the boy word. The child was so…innocent, ah, very much so indeed.

"I will see you again, behave and don't get into trouble." He said as he stood and wiped the tears off the boys face.

"Promise you'll come back!" Alfred said as he clung onto Arthur's sleeve. The door was already open and Arthur was just about to walk out.

"I promise." He smiled, as two of them joined their little fingers in a secret promise.

Half a century later, which was about six months in National village, England returned to see America.

"Hello~" Arthur called as he opened the front door and put down his bags. No reply. Arthur looked around. He hadn't aged since the last time he'd been here. His sandy blond hair was still messy, and his skin was still a pale cream. He eyes were still the same bright emerald green.

Arthur walked into the living room and looked around.

Where was that bouncing ball of energy with the golden hair and sky blue eyes? Maybe he was in the garden?

Arthur was about to make his way out to the garden, when he heard a strange but slightly familiar voice.

"Arthur!" the strange voice shouted and he was tackled to the sofa. Arthur was very alarmed but couldn't move for all the air had been pushed out of his chest.

Arthur lay on the sofa, with someone with their arms around his neck and hugging him close.

"Ah~ I've missed you so much! It's so great to see you!" The person cried. Arthur still didn't know who is was, but the voice sounded familiar.

The person let go him and sat back, but was still sitting on top of him. it was a man, he looked about in him late teens of maybe earlier twenties. He wasn't over muscular, but you could tell he had muscle, he was lean with creamy skin. He had sort golden hair and….large sky blue eyes.

Arthur took a quick intake of breath.

"A-alfred?" He asked nervously. The man beamed and nodded happily. "You…You've grown…?"

"Yup! See? I've grown up while you were away!" He grinned happily, that cheeky smile he always wore. Arthur was…confused. This was so different. It was Alfred and yet….it wasn't. this made hi head hurt.

"can you…uh…get off Alfred?" He asked, for Alfred was still sitting on him.

"Oh! Yes! Sorry, I was just so happy that I just kind of…"

"Tackled me?"

"Yes…" he said sheepishly. Arthur smiled happily. Yes, this was Alfred, he may look different, but he hadn't changed really.

"Wow… I'm tired." Arthur sighed as he stood up. Alfred just smiled at him, barely able to control the happiness on him face. Arthur paused and looked Alfred up and down. He was wearing a blue hoody and jeans, with just red socks. But…he must be about 6 ft 4! Which towered over Arthurs 6 ft 1.

"your…." Arthur said dumb founded.

"Hm?" Alfred asked happily.

"Tall…" Arthur mumbled still staring. Alfred was fidgeting and moving from one foot to the other. Arthur knew what that meant. He opened his arms to Alfred, who swept Arthur up and literally picked him up off the ground.

"Whoa! Easy!" Arthur laughed as he was swung round in the embrace.

"No!" Alfred said happily. "You not leaving for a long time!" Arthur…was happy. This was a very happy time.

They both fell onto the sofa in hysterics of laughter.

"I've missed you." Alfred said sleepily.

"Hm…Me too…" Arthur replied, yawning.

"Hey, do you wanna take a nap?" Alfred asked eagerly. Arthur stared at him for a moment then remembered Alfred's plan he had made a long time ago.

"Sure, the journey here has made me tired." Arthur smiled. They walked up the stairs, Alfred still striding up in front.

Arthur couldn't believe him, how much he'd grown. He was so big now, it was amazing.

When they got into the bedroom, they both got into the bed and lay down. The room was the same as Arthur could remember it, the big four poster bed, the dark long drapes covering the window. It was late evening now, so even if the curtains were back it would still be dark in the room.

"Ah, I'm tired." Alfred said and he sighed into the pillow next too Arthur.

"yeah…" Arthur murmured as sleep took hold of him.

Alfred watched as Arthur fell asleep, in truth, he wasn't sleepy at all. He couldn't sleep even if he tried. What Arthur didn't know was that this was his room, well, his new room. He had changed a while back, but kept all of his things in his old room.

Alfred couldn't stop thinking of Arthur while he was away. When Arthur had given him a kiss on the lips, he remembered the vow he had made to Arthur, 'when I'm older! I will never make you cry!'

He never wanted to make Arthur sad. But he remember the kiss, the taste of Arthur. He tasted like honey, and it was so sweet. He wanted more.

As he had grown, he found out to things, new experiences, and new ways to entertain himself. He couldn't stop thinking of Arthur, he filled his every thought, and whenever he thought about how he wasn't there, his heart would ache.

It ached right now just staring at his sleeping face. He stared at his lips, the soft, pink, perfect lips, slightly open.

Alfred stayed like that for a while, just staring at Arthur and thinking. That's when he saw the first tear. He didn't stop it, but just watched to see if he did anything else.

It was different thing time round, Arthur seemed to be having a dream, and not a very pleasant one at that. He started to shake his head, and fidget, obviously not comfortable.

"no…" He murmured. Alfred watched wide eyed. "Don't…no…stay away!" it started to get louder as he began to thrash more. "Don't! Stay away!...No!" Arthur cried. Alfred moved forward and jumped on top of Arthur for easy access.

He grabbed the older mans shoulders and shook him.

"No! Stay away!" Arthur cried, for he still didn't wake up.

"Arthur! Wake up! Arthur!" Alfred shouted, a desperate look on his face. He didn't like seeing Arthur like this, he didn't like seeing him in pain.

"Ah!" Arthur woke up with a violent shock, his green eyes were vivid even in the dark, and tears were still pouring. He was breathing heavily and was sweating.

"Arthur…" Alfred said.

"A-Alfred?" Arthur said in a shaky voice. Alfred stared down at him, his hands still on his shoulders. Arthur looked…scared. Scared and lonely.

Arthur blinked a few time to get the tears from his face.

"I…um…"

"It's alright." Alfred said and he wrapped his arms around Arthur and buried his face in the man's shoulders. "It's alright now. I'm here. You're not alone." He said. Arthur paused, and then buried his face in Alfred's shoulder in return, he didn't cry, but he just wanted comfort.

Alfred kissed the top of Arthurs head and pulled back slightly to look at him. Arthur's face was red from the heat, and he had the remainder of tears in his eyes. Alfred thought he never looked cuter.

Alfred couldn't take it anymore. He brought his lips down to Arthurs.

Arthurs eye went wide. Alfred moved his mouth over Arthur's, asking for entrance. Finally Arthur gave it to him. Their tongues touched, and a spark went through Alfred. Their tongues mingled together and Alfred eagerly explored Arthur's mouth.

Arthur gasped for air, in raged panting noises. His face was flushed red and saliva was dripping down the side of his mouth. Alfred thought it was the sexiest thing that he'd ever seen.

"ha…what..are doing?" Panted Arthur, staring up at Alfred with blurry eyes. Alfred didn't reply. He just looked down at the sexy Arthur.

He bent and gently bit Arthur's ear. Arthur took a sharp intake of breath at that and moaned.

Alfred wanted to make Arthur make more sounds like that, he wanted to make Arthur loose him mind.

Alfred nibbled at his neck, licking and biting slightly.

"Ah…Ha…Mn!" Arthur gasped. Alfred sat back and took of his hoody, and T-shirt.

"What are you doing?" Arthur said while he wasn't occupied. "Stop this at once!" he said, frowning, which Alfred though was even cuter. Arthur stared at Alfred's wide chest, wide eyed.

Alfred started to un-button Arthurs shirt.

"What? No! stop it!" Arthur said desperately. Alfred silenced his lips by kissing him again and un-did the rest of his buttons. He pulled the shit off of Arthur, though it proved quite a struggle. Alfred pinned Arthur's hand over his head and tied them together with the shirt's sleeves and then carried on kissing him, deep and hard.

When they came up for air, Alfred made a trail of kisses down Arthur chest, which had Arthur panting and making all kind of cute noises.

Alfred went down to one of Arthurs nipples, all cute and pink, and took in it his mouth.

Arthur gasped and raised his chest.

"Ah! No…don't!" moaned Arthur. His eyes were clenched shut and he was blushing furiously.

Alfred bit and flicked Arthurs nipple with his tongue.

"AH!" Alfred did this until the nipple was hard, then he did the same to the other. When he was done, Arthur couldn't stop moaning.

"No…stop…" Alfred smiled at Arthurs face. He'd never seen Arthurs composed expression break, so his expression right now was pure bliss.

Alfred started to undo Arthur's belt. Arthur bolted up with shock.

"no! Don't do that!" Arthur pleaded, a wild look in him eye.

"No." Alfred replied. He'd been waiting so long for this, he wasn't going to stop. Alfred pulled Arthur trousers down in one smooth motion, while holding Arthur down still. Arthur was struggling now, he was very upset.

"No! Alfred, stop! You don't know what you doing!" He cried. Alfred snapped at that. He lunged and pinned Arthur down, hard.

"I know exactly what I'm doing! I've wanted this for a really long time, Arthur…" he said passionately. Arthur didn't reply, just looked up at Alfred with very, very sad eyes.

Alfred didn't notice, but carried on by working to get Arthurs trousers off.

Once they were off, Alfred looked at Arthurs boxers. He was obviously enjoying the attention.

Alfred looked up at Arthurs face, his eyes were shut tightly but he was breathing heavily.

Alfred poked Arthur's member, and watched and he took a sharp shaky intake of breath.

Alfred smiled at this. He ran his finger from the base of his member to the tip.

A shiver ran through Arthurs body and he moaned. Alfred pressed the slit of the head and rubbed through Arthur's thin boxers.

"Ah!" Arthur bucked at the sensation. Ah, found a sensitive spot. Alfred pulled off Arthurs boxers to reveal his hard member. By now he had a bad hard on, so much that it hurt, pressing against his trousers.

Alfred pulled off his trousers and boxers and loomed over Arthur. Arthur looked at him, expressionless, except for those sad, sad green eyes.

Alfred spat into his hand and rubbed his own hard member as he stared at Arthur, who stared right back at him in the eye, coldly.

Alfred frowned slightly. He pulled Arthur up, and turned him to be on his stomach.

"W-what are you doing?" Arthur questioned. His arms were out in front of him.

"Raise your hips." Alfred ordered, and pulled Arthur's hips high in the air, while his torso was on the bed, hands tied out in front of him.

Alfred placed his hard member at Arthurs entrance.

"Wha—" Arthur was cut off my Alfred pushing in.

"Ahh!" Arthur cried out in pain. Alfred hissed through his teeth.

"You're so tight Arthur." He said, and pushed further in. Arthur cried again. "Arthur, relax!" ordered Alfred. Every time that Alfred pushed in further, Arthur would cry out in pain.

When Alfred was fully in, Arthur was crying into the bed. Alfred, ignored Arthur, and focused on what he was doing. He pulled out until only the tip of his member was still in Arthur, then moved forward in quickly.

"Ah..i…it h-hurts…" Arthur cried to the pillow. Alfred was starting to like this, he kept going until he had a slow rhythm. He then started to hear all of those cute noises from Arthur. Arthur turned his head slightly, tears in his eyes, his lips wet and slightly apart, and a foggy expression in his eyes. Alfred's eyes widened. That sent him over the edge.

Alfred grabbed Arthurs hips and slammed into Arthur.

"AH!" Arthur cried. Alfred kept pounding into him, only concerned with himself now.

"Alfred! Stop! It hurts!" Cried Arthur. As Alfred carried on, getting harder and roughed, it was causing more pain for Arthur. It felt as though he was being torn apart, slowly. It was agony.

"A-Alfred…Sto..p….I…it..hu…hurts…"Sobbed Arthur. Tears were running down his face and there was no hint of pleasure in his face, only great pain.

But Alfred didn't stop. He was sweating now, Arthur kept clenching around him, so tight that he thought he might faint. It felt so _good_. So good that he wasn't aware of anything but the pleasure.

Alfred was close to his climax, and in his head, he thought that Arthur was too. But what was in his head was not the truth.

With a couple more violent thrusts, he released his hot seeds into Arthur. He doubled over Arthur with a sigh of pleasure, then pulled out of Arthur's shaking body and lay down on the bed with a heavy sigh.

He was still not aware of what was real, and was convinced that it was great for his partner too.

Alfred smiled and sat up, then looked at Arthur. He was over the sense of the pleasure, and for the first time, saw what was real.

He stared at Arthur, the one he loved, sitting by the large pillows, curled into a ball. He looked so…fragile like this, as though a feather would hurt him. He was shivering violently, and was staring at Alfred, tears rolling down his face. Alfred watched in horror as the one he loved, cried in fear, desperate fear of him. Arthur was terrified.

"Arthur…" he said quietly and moved a hand out to touch him. Arthur flinched, and whimpered. Alfred moved closer to Arthur, and tried to touch him. Arthur moved quickly, and stumbled off the bed, trying to get away from him as fast as possible. He fell on his backside.

Alfred saw as he fell, his seeds were still seeping from Arthur's entrance, but something else was.

Alfred gasped. Blood. How could there be blood? Did…he do that?

While he was looking at Arthur helplessly still sittings on the bed, Arthur worked and broke free of his shirt used to tie his hands together. Arthur stood shakily, and wrapped his shirt around himself. It was long so it almost seemed like a dress.

Arthur walked up close to Alfred in front of the bed, a strange expression on his face.

"Arthu—" _SLAP!_ Alfred's words faulted as Arthur slapped him across the cheek in a quick fluid moment. Alfred raised his hand to his burning cheek and looked at Arthur with wide eyes. Arthur had never….hit him before. Even when he had been bad, not one single smack.

Arthur looked hurt, and scared. Tears rolled down his face as he bit his lower lip.

"Arthur I didn—" Alfred began.

"How could you!" Arthur cried. "Why would you? Do you have any idea of what you just did?" Alfred paused.

"Yes. I made love with you." He said seriously. Arthur stared at him, wearing an expression of sheer disbelief.

"Are you fucking stupid? That was not making love!" He said quickly and angrily.

"We made love." Alfred said, still wanting to believe that that's what it was. Arthur made a sound of anger and pain.

"That wasn't making love you idiot! That was rape!" Alfred looked confused. Rape? What did that mean? Arthur saw his expression. "Rape is when you force yourself upon someone sexually!" Still he was not getting it. "It's when you hurt someone Alfred! You have sex with them, but against their will! It's horrible!" he sobbed now into his hands. Alfred still didn't understand very clearly. He had…raped Arthur? He had forced him…yes. He remembered! He heard Arthur's pleads and cries of pain, but ignored them. Why did he do that?

Alfred's eye stung back tears. He stood up and moved to touch Arthur. Arthur pulled back quickly.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted, and wild desperate look in his eyes.

"Arthur…I…" he trailed off.

"H-how could you?" Arthur sobbed. "You haven't grown up! You're still a child! A selfish, blind child! You have no idea of what you did!" He shouted at Alfred, who looked helplessly at him in return.

"But I—"

"You don't understand anything!" England shouted at him and ran out of the room, tears still pouring down him face, and blood running down his legs.

Alfred stood there, silent, and thinking. He…had done something terrible. He knew it now. He just couldn't understand why he had done it. Maybe he just got caught up in the moment. Maybe he knew all along but chose to ignore it. Either way, he had hurt Arthur deeply.

He hadn't made Arthur feel good. He had hurt him, in ways he can't imagine.

Arthur…had cried. He broke his promise. He made Arthur cry. Made the one he love, fear him, hate him, and leave him.

Arthur would be better off without him…Arthur would be happy if he didn't have to see him anymore…

That is best…

It was time he became independent from the one he loved…

To save the one he loved…

His dearest England…

He must leave…


	3. The Light had Gone

The rain fell heavily on the ground, which had now turned to mud. The ky was full over clouds, making everything in the world look grey and colourless. The rail was freezing cold, like little iceicles landing on the ground. The day was cold, for it was early winter, which made the rain even more horrible. It was a day for sorrow.

American stood in front of England, the once great country. Now, on his knees, crying. What had the country been reduced too? Been reduced to this humiliation in the rain.

"You used to be so great." America said, a cold look in his eyes as he stared at the older man weep.

England didn't respond, he just kept his hands over his face. His shoulders were shaking as the tears fell steadily from his eyes.. His arm was bleeding, for that was where America had struck him. it was the first time America had hurt him, and it had hurt more than just flesh.

"You had your chance to kill me…to stop me…why didn't you?" America said.

"How could I?" burst England. Tears were streaming down his face, he was angry, but he couldn't stop crying. No matter how hard he tried to hide his tears from the younger country, he couldn't help himself. "How could I kill you?" He shouted at America.

"Even after what I've done to you…why do you still fight against me, you should hate me…"

"I don't know….I just…can't…"

"If you were str—" America started with a frown.

"If I was strong I would kill you? If that's was it means to be strong? To be powerful! Then I don't want to be! You have to be strong to kill the ones you love?" England shouted, his fists clenched at his side.

"Yes." America said firmly, staring down at England. "You've lost the once greatness you had. Now, you're nothing. Just accept it."

"Yes…" England said with a ghost of a smile on his lips. "I was great, and I could have been so powerful…" He laughed darkly as he stared at the ground. "I lost my pride…my power…my family...I lost love…" America's breath hitched as he watched the older country. The light went out of England's eyes, and they became blank, no emotion showing in them at all.

England slumped forward into the mud.

"how could I kill you Alfred?" sobbed England. American watched the older country sob into the ground, as the rain fell heavy, their clothes now soaked through. What England didn't see, was the tears that started to flow down America's cheeks.

And that was it. The American revolution. America was free from the over powering grip of England. America was happy about this, this was a good thing. And England…England would get over this, right?

But American watched in horror, as he saw the one he had loved over the next centuries, crawl deep inside himself, hiding from the outside world. America watched as England…never regained the light in his eyes…he never really saw him smile anymore. Just…nothing. England didn't seem sad exactly. He just seemed, lifeless. Oh, he still got mad, but…never happy, never joy. And never again did America see his dear England, his dear Arthur, laugh.

That light…had gone. And America feared it was never to return.


	4. Always and Always

The world meeting was being hosted by Germany this time, and it was like it always was. Germany talked, and talked, and talked. He snapped at anyone who talked while he was talking, and shouted when everyone started talking at once.

Alfred sighed. He was so _bored_. It was unrealistic how bored he was. He'd spent the last two hours listening to Germany rant on about something, and had spent half of that time shouting at the others.

Alfred was doodling himself as a super hero on his page, making himself look awesome and totally heroic looking. He looked awesome.

He sighed again and looked around the room. Feliciano was making a paper plane, looking like he needed to concentrate extra hard. Whenever Ludwig wasn't looking in his direction, Lovino would make rude gestures at Antonio, who would in return blow him kisses. Those two were a weird couple.

Francis had Coral on his lap, and rested his head in the crook of her tanned neck, she just blushed but smiled slightly. They were…weird. But they weren't together. He knew that for sure. Alfred didn't know how Seychelles kept him in check. She must have some kind of trick.

Japan looked like he was working and writing notes intensely on his page, not even looking up. But everyone knew he was drawing manga. His manga he drew was wicked.

Ivan, the creepy Russian bastard was staring at Yao, who was blushing furiously at the Russians heavy gaze. Oh yeah, something was going on between those two.

It seemed like all of the countries were hooking up recently. Even his little brother Mattie had something going with France. Which was disturbing to perfectly honest.

And then…there was Arthur. Alfred stared at the blond across the room, who was staring at his page, not writing, just staring at the blank page in front of him.

Alfred's mood dimmed and he forgot all about his drawing and everyone around him. he just stared at the beautiful Brit.

Alfred…missed him. he had for many centuries now. He didn't miss being controlled by the Englishman, but he missed, well…the man. Not the country. Arthur. He missed his lovely Arthur.

Whenever he saw Arthur's face, he could help remember the expression of Arthur when he had…he couldn't even bring himself to think of it.

At the time, he was still a child, a spoilt, ignorant child that had deluded himself into believing that love was that simple.

He had been cruel to Arthur. And had hurt him deep. For that, Alfred hated himself.

But today, he had had enough. He was going to go to Arthur's house. He was going to beg for forgiveness.

Normally a hero wouldn't ever give in like that, but…he had too. Sometimes, the heroic thing to do was apologize and know when to do what is right.

He wanted Arthur to be…happy! He thought that after what he had done, Arthur would be better off if Alfred was free from him, that's why he separated from the older country in the war of independence.

But…no…that didn't happen. Arthur seemed to die inside. He never smiled. He could still get mad, obviously. But as he had noticed, Arthur's eyes were blank. There was nothing. The light in Arthur's eyes had gone, and with it his happiness.

Alfred knew it was all his fault, so he had to do _something!_ He had to find a way to fix it all.

And that's why, tonight he planned on dropping in on Arthur's house.

He had to do this! He didn't care if Arthur hated him, but he had to get Arthur to forgive himself.

Alfred did not regret becoming independent, but he regretted doing _that…_

Finally the meeting ended and Alfred started to pack up his things. He watched the Brit gather his belonging and walk out with all the others. Alfred was determined. He _had_ to do this.

Arthur sighed in satisfaction as he took a sip of his tea. It hit the spot perfectly.

He was sitting in his large armchair, warm cup of tea, some digestives, and with the fire roaring in the fireplace.

It was a cold day, and Arthur had been more sensitive to the cold recently. He seemed to be getting frailer.

He relaxed into his chair, relaxing to the roar of the fire, and the warmth that filled the room. His eyes slowly started to close shut…

_DING DONG! _

Arthur's eyes snapped open as the loud doorbell rang, waking him up from his almost slumber. He placed his cup of tea down on the saucer with a gently clack, and stood up slowly.

"I'm getting older…" Arthur mumbled with a scowl. He walked to the front door. What kind of idiotic, moronic bastard, could it be at this hour?

Arthur swung open the door to be greeted by an annoying American. Ah, that's the idiotic moronic bastard.

"Hey," Alfred smiled and moved past Arthur into the house. Arthur sighed with frustration and ran his hand through his spiky blond hair.

"What do you want, America?" Alfred walked further into the house, into the room Arthur was previously lounging in.

Alfred turned to him and smiled, the fire's light reflecting off his glasses.

"I just thought I should stop by," Arthur regarded his suspiciously. What was wrong with him? America wasn't right in the head, that's for sure.

"Well, alright then, if you must." He said tartly, and went to sit down on the sofa in front of the fire. Alfred went and sat next to him, and turned to face him. His smiled had disappeared and he was just staring at Arthur with a solemn expression.

"What?" Arthur snapped, getting more irritated as the American was in his house. Alfred looked down at his hands for a second, and then stared at the fire.

"I want to talk to you…" he said slowly.

"Well, then talk. I don't want you wasting my evening." Arthur found this strange. America wasn't his normal self, he was sure of it. What was it? Not like he cared, but if he had the nerve to disturb his evening then it must be something of importance.

Alfred glanced at him, and turned the fully face him. he looked very serious.

"Arthur…I…I want you to forgive me." He said hesitantly. At first Arthur didn't know what he was talking about, and then he saw America's expression and realized. Arthurs chest tightened, and he frowned more.

"For the war…?" he said. Alfred shook his head, a sad expression on his face.

"No, you know what for Arthur. I want you to forgive me for it, I _need_ you too!" he said. Arthur stared at his former colony. Arthur remained silent, but looked back into the fire.

"Arthur! Listen to me! please!" Alfred moved slighting closer. "I cant take it! Please! Maybe if you forgive me, you will be okay again!" Alfred cried desperately. He as getting more and more upset as the minutes passed.

"What do you mean…?" Arthur asked, and glanced at Alfred. Be okay? What the hell did he mean? Alfred stared at him, a pained expression on his face.

"You need to become better! You must be better, you must, must, must…" He murmured, and looked down at his hands. Arthur frowned and moved closer to the younger nation, who was clearly in distress.

"What do you mean that I must become 'better'?" Arthur asked quietly. Alfred's head snapped up to look at him. Arthur was taken aback to see Alfred was close to tears. "W-What's the matter?" Alfred took hold of both his hands in his large warm ones.

"Arthur, I can't take it anymore. You're not…" he paused, "…happy." Arthur's eyebrows rose.

"What makes you think I'm unhappy?" Arthur asked, slightly confused.

"I know you Arthur. I've been watching you. You're not happy at all, you're sad. You may not know it, but you are!" Alfred said desperately, gripping Arthur's hands in front of his. The American's eyes were wide and sincere. "I can see it, no one else can, but I can! And I can't take it, because it's my fault!" Arthur stared at him, wide eyed, taken aback at what he was saying. How…how did America know that?

"I was the one who did this too you! I caused you pain, I hurt you, and I made you cry! I promised that I would never make you cry…" he whispered. Arthur stayed silent, eyes wide, and shaking slightly.

"America…" He murmured after a few minutes of silence. He leaned in and touched his forehead to the younger nations. Alfred looked at him, his baby blue eyes wide. He suddenly grabbed Arthur and pulled him into a tight embrace, burying his face into Arthur's shoulder.

"I'm sorry…Arthur, I couldn't be sorrier…"He murmured into Arthurs shoulder.

Arthur didn't move for a moment, still processing the emotions he was feeling. Sadness, joy… and love. Arthur slowly wrapped his arms around Alfred.

Tears started to roll slowly down his face, and then began to fall more heavily.

Arthur snapped. He gripped Alfred tighter and started to cry. His voice echoed through the house, his voice filled with the emotion that had been held in for many centuries.

Alfred rubbed Arthur's back, and whispered soft comforting words as his elder let it all out.

Once Arthur's sobs had quietened down, he pulled back slightly. Alfred gave him a questioning look.

Arthur leaned up to Alfred and pressed his lips to the Americans gently. The kiss was soft, and sweet, both of them just wanting to feel comfort.

When they parted, Alfred had a strange expression on his face.

"Arthur, you…"

"America," Arthur said slowly, blushing slightly. "I…forgive you…" he stared up at Alfred with his big emerald eyes, tears still in them. "I forgive you for what you did…" He gripped the sleeves of Alfred's sleeves tightly. Alfred stared down at the blushing Brit, and smiled.

"Thank you…God, thank you so much Arthur…" he kissed Arthur's forehead.

"nm…" Was all the reply he received.

Alfred pulled back, and bent and kissed Arthur on the lips. The kiss started out slow, gentle and warm, but then the kiss deepened, as Alfred pushed Arthur onto his back on the sofa. Alfred had his hands and knees braced on either side of the smaller man.

They broke the kiss, and stared into each other's eyes.

"Arthur…are you okay…?" Alfred asked hesitantly. Arthur nodded.

"I trust you…" He murmured. Alfred smiled at this, and kissed the Brit again, but with more passion than before.

Their mouths melded together, like the clicking of a jigsaw puzzle. Alfred bit Arthurs bottom lip gently, earning a small moan from the man. Alfred ran his tongue over Arthurs bottom lip, asking for entry. Arthur opened his mouth, welcoming in the warmth from Alfred's tongue. Alfred's tongue explored the warm cavern of Arthur's mouth, loving the older nations taste. Arthur reached out his tongue to touch Alfred's, and a spark went through both their bodies as their tongues touched.

After a few more intense seconds, they broke the kiss with a gasp, a bridge of saliva from each other's mouth.

"America…" He said, panting. Tears started to roll down his face again, and he pulled his arms up to cover his face as he cried.

"H-Hey! Arthur, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Alfred said, alarmed. Alfred pried Arthurs arms away from him, and stared at the smaller nation.

"Arthur," Alfred said more assertively. "Why are you crying?" He gripped Arthurs wrists, pinning them down next to his head. Arthur wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Uh…I can't understand this…" He said quietly. "I shouldn't feel like this…" He glanced at Alfred. "When you were younger, you gave me the courage to get up in the morning…I would look into you sky blue eyes and I felt strong….now you've grown up…I don't know what to do anymore…" He sobbed. Alfred's face was like stone.

"Arthur…You still think of me as a child, don't you…?" He asked smoothly. Arthur blinked and looked up.

"Y-Yeah…" A low growl came from Alfred, and he smashed his lips down onto Arthurs, shoving his tongue into the smaller nations mouth, exploring the Brits mouth.

"Nm…" Arthur moaned, trying to get oxygen into his lungs. They broke the kiss, and Arthur gasped for air. Alfred started to plant kisses along Arthur's jaw, nipping and licking along the way. Arthur moaned at the sensation, fidgeting, for his wrists were still captured.

"A-America…Ha…"Arthur whined. America ignore him, and started to unbutton his shirt, but stopped short and glanced at Arthur's face. Suddenly, the American stood up, and loomed over Arthur with his tall height.

"W-what are you doing?" Arthur sniffled, staring up at him with large teary eyes. Alfred bent down and picked Arthur up, holding him bridal style, all the while wearing a stony expression.

"What the hell are you doing?" Arthur shrieked. Alfred didn't reply, but headed towards the stairs instead.

"Put me down this instant!" The flustered Brit exclaimed, his cheeks flushing a rosy pink.

"No." Arthur pouted, his brow pulling together in a frown. Once they got to Arthurs bedroom, Alfred strode over to the bed and dropped Arthur down roughly.

"H-Hey!—" Suddenly, Alfred was on top of him, pinning Arthur's hands next to his head on the bed, and his legs braced on either side of Arthur. Arthur froze, and stared at Alfred's face in shock. Alfred…was glaring down at Arthur, tears in his eyes. He wore a pained expression, one that Arthur had never seen on his face before.

Tears ran down his face, some dripping onto Arthur's face. "I've grown. I'm not the boy I once was, I know…that I've made mistakes in my life…but you must understand Arthur…. I am _not_ a child anymore…" He said in a shaky voice. He hung his head, tears falling freely.

"America—"

"No!" Alfred snapped. His lips came down onto Arthurs neck, licking it and planting gentle kisses. He made his way down and nibbled on the Brits creamy collar bone.

"nm.." Arthur moaned and tried to move, but the Americans grip was like iron, unyielding. Alfred finished unbuttoning Arthur's shirt, and once it was off he threw it across the room. It was a cold night, and the silly British man's house didn't have good heating, if any at all.

Goose bumps spread over Arthur's skin, and he shivered as bare flesh met the cold air of the room.

"A-america…" he whimpered. Alfred let go of Arthur's left hand, and ran his free hand down the smaller nations small waist. Arthur really was beautiful. The funny thing was that he didn't even know it, he didn't know the kind of effect he could have on other people. It pissed him off.

Alfred seized one of Arthur's rosy nipples in between his finger and thump, and squeezed it.

"Ah!" Arthur's breath hitched in surprise. Alfred bent and took Arthur's right nipple in his mouth, licking and biting it gently. Arthur moaned and arched his back.

Alfred was relentless with the rosy bud. He let go of Arthur's hand and moved to work on the other nipple, but carried on teasing the other with his fingers.

Alfred made his way down the smaller nations small body licking a path to his navel, where he dipped his tongue in the little dip. Arthur squirmed and moaned.

Alfred came to the hem of Arthur's trousers, and glanced up at the Brit.

He unbuttoned Arthur's trousers and pulled them down smoothly to reveal the nations smooth pale creamy legs.

"A-America, w-wait—" He saw the look Alfred gave him and shut up. Alfred threw the trousers across the room, hopefully never to be found again. Alfred then pulled Arthur's pants down after that.

Arthur shivered at the feeling of being completely exposed and the chilled air that danced across his skin.

Alfred stared down at the smaller male in front of him. His pale porcelain skin, his tousled sandy hair, his flushed pink cheeks. But the thing that captivated his attention the most was the growing member in front of him.

Arthur had felt pleasure? He had been enjoying it? A smile spread across the American's lips. Arthur noticed this and a blush covered his face.

Alfred decided to point this out another time, and just carried on with his plans.

He pulled Arthur's legs up and bent down between them. he took Arthur's member in his hand, which caused the other to gasp sharply. He slowly started to pump the member, up and down, developing a slow rhythm.

Alfred suddenly took the member in his mouth, enveloping Arthur's cock in wet warmth.

"A-ah!" Arthur cried out. Alfred ran his tongue from the base to the tip, swirling his tongue around the tip and in the slit. He then started to bob his head up and down. The Brits wasn't as big as his, but it wasn't small that's for sure.

After a couple of minute of bobbing up and down, Arthur was a moaning mess. Alfred enjoyed this greatly. He had been with many partners in his life, but he always imaged them as being Arthur, always Arthur. And now that it really was? It was heaven.

"Do you like this Arthur?" Alfred asked as he sucked on the tip, rubbing his tongue along the slit.

"Hah…" Arthur panted. "Mn…" That was the only reply he got. The Brits eyes were glazed over with pleasure, and his breathing was heavy.

Alfred kept going. Arthur could tell he was close, the tightness in his stomach was getting to be too much! Soon he was going to explode!

"A-america!" Arthur panted out. "I-I can't m-much…longer!" Alfred didn't stop. With one last hard suck, the Brit came.

Arthur arched his back and his vision flashed white. Alfred swallowed the hot salty liquid and cleaned the Brits member of any remains.

Arthur panted heavily, worn out from his orgasm. But Alfred didn't leave his member. He carried on sucking it, licking and stroking it. The feeling was overwhelming! He couldn't take this!

"N-nooo…" Arthur whined. "I already came…" Arthur couldn't help but twitch with pleasure as his already abused member was being teased ruthlessly. Alfred detached himself from the smaller nations cock, and sat up.

Strong hands held onto Arthur, and pulled his body closer to the American. His legs were on America's shoulders, and he was leaning mainly on his shoulder blades.

"A-America…"

"No! Call me Alfred! _Alfred._" He replied sternly. The Englishman paused.

"Alfred…w-what are you doing?" he asked. Alfred stared down at him, and pulled Arthur's bear him in the air and bent down.

"This." Alfred's tongue met Arthur's entrance. Arthur jolted in surprise.

"A-Alfred!" He cried out. "Nm!" He moaned as Alfred tongue penetrated him. Arthur's eyes were wide with the sensation. Alfred warm organ was probing his soft walls, it was so weird.

Alfred smiled and stopped what he was doing, to receive a little whimper of protest from Arthur.

"Suck on these," He ordered and held out three fingers in front of Arthur. He hesitated, then took them into his mouth, knowing what they were for he made sure to get them wet.

Alfred couldn't help but feel a shiver run up his back as the little nations skilful tongue slicked up his fingers. He took them out, a bridge of saliva from his finger to Arthur's mouth.

He slowly added one finger into the Nations entrance. It went in with ease. He wiggled it around a little bit.

Arthur couldn't help but fidget at the feeling, it felt so _weird_.

Alfred slowly added the next digit, watching Arthur's face for any discomfort. It was a little tighter, but there wasn't that much discomfort on Arthur's face. Alfred made sure to scissor his fingers and curl them, then when it was ready he added the third finger. This time, Arthur did show pain.

"Ah…" He bit his lip and shut his eyes tightly. He was being stretched, and it hurt.

Once they were in, he started to scissor all three of his fingers, making it a wide as he could. He started to pump his fingers in and out of the smaller mans entrance.

Arthur felt the pain start to subside, to feel that he…actually liked it. It was nice.

_Come on, where is it…_Alfred thought as he switched to positions of his fingers, until—

"AH!" Arthur jerks upwards, and saw white.

"Found it~" Alfred murmured. Now he knew where it was, he was sure to hit it straight away when he entered Arthur…

Alfred took the digits out, and took Arthur's legs off his shoulders, to let them fall on either side of him. He undid his trousers, and next thing they were half way across the room on the floor Alfred took of his boxers that were restricting his hardened member.

Arthur stared in wonder at the American.

_He's huge…_ Arthur thought in awe. Alfred noticed him staring and smiled. Arthur blushed furiously and turned his gaze away.

"Its alright, you can look…" Alfred murmured. He positioned himself at Arthurs enterance, and slowly started to push in. Arthur instantly tensed. Alfred looked up at his love, and felt a twang of guilt. His beloved's eyes were shut tightly, and he held his arm over his face.

Alfred was almost all the way in, but by seeing the look on Arthurs face, he stopped.

"Arthur…" He murmured. Arthur's breath hitched, and he took his arm away, to reveal his wide green eyes, acuminated in the dark room.

"Why are you stopping?" he demanded weakly. "D-Don't stop…" Alfred nodded and pushed all the way in, which cause a little whimper from Arthur.

Alfred held still for a moment, to let Arthur adjust to his size. Arthur was panting, trying not to cry out at the pain. He looked up at America through the tears in his eyes. America's expression was deeply concerned, watching Arthur careful and trying to stay.

Alfred felt Arthur relax a little bit, and pulled out, then pushed back in quickly. Arthur gasped.

Alfred did it again, slamming against Arthur.

"Hah….Ah…" Arthur moaned. Alfred angled his thrusts. He just needed to find that place…that one spot that would make—

"AH!" Arthur cried out and his back arched. Alfred his it again.

_Found it…_ he thought. Arthur was so tights, he thought he was going to melt.

"Oh…G-God…" Arthur moaned. Alfred was hitting him there every time!

"Arthur….Arthur…Arthur…" Alfred started murmuring the nations name over and over, like a chant. He could feel the tightness in his stomach getting tighter with every trust.

Arthur suddenly leaned up and wrapped his arms around America's neck.

"A-Alfred….Oh….Ah…." he moaned in the American's ear. Alfred felt himself grow harder inside Arthur. His speed increased, he gripped hold of Arthur's hips tightly and thrusted in harder and harder.

"Oh God….Arthur…" Alfred moaned. He was getting closer. "I love you…" Arthur's eyes flashed open at that.

_Alfred…Loved him…?_ Arthur thought, surprised.

"I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you…" He repeated over and over.

Arthur felt him self so close to the edge. Just a little more.

Alfred took hold of Arthur's member and began to pump it, squeezing and rubbing the tip.

"Ah~" With one last cry, Arthur fell over the edge, and his vision became white. He came into Alfred's hand and in between their stomachs. With a couple more deep thrusts, Alfred came, filling Arthur up with his seeds. He rode out his orgasm with a few more thrusts.

Arthur felt so….warm…so loved. If he were to die right now, he'd be happy.

They collapsed together on the bed, both still high from their orgasms. Alfred slid out of Arthur and pulled him close to his chest.

"I love you Arthur….God, I love you so much…" He murmured into Arthur's sandy hair. Alfred pulled the covers over them both.

Arthur stared into Alfred's blue eyes, and smiled softly.

"I know…" He replied quietly, and kissed Alfred on the lips lightly. He then snuggled into Alfred's shoulders, and closed his eyes.

Alfred kissed the top of his head, closed his eyes, and let sleep take over. But just before he fell asleep, he heard something, so quiet that he wasn't sure if he heard it right.

"I've known you're not a child for a long time…"


End file.
